standing out

the day trickles to an end. its dark out now. seems a bit too early. a disappointment. it was a gray day. dishes cleaned. hydrated. everything in its place. waiting for the world to turn. eventually it'll bring good fortune.

good fortune. in the land of make believe we make our own bread.

joo Lie

and yet, is he content? it is a fluctuating state. the camera pulling in and out of focus. the attention of the viewer waxing and waning. the message teetering between non and sense. as our hero steps forth into the abyss of JULY and sees not one but many paths each one dangerous, bland, time consuming and in their own ways deviously worthwhile he gasps- spins about and the world disappears- a spiraling display of melded ideas and opportunities all whizzing about him like a kaleidoscope of time and space. stop.

two whiskeys on the rocks-
a pint of cheap beer-
now lose your wallet.

slowing to a stop the world refocuses in front of him as he stumbles down the closest path.

same day different post

its about this guy who amidst his rather care free life of socializing and sipping on beverages, is secretly building a life size rocket ship out of cardboard in a large warehouse in the center of portland, oregon.

as coleman would surely ask, "so what?"

and to this i would reply.

"the significance of this piece is in the juxtaposition between the rather hefty undertaking of building a life size "non operational" cardboard rocket ship while existing in a calm and content state. His life does not demand this extra curricular activity.In fact, he would be well enough to go on eating and being merry if there were not deep inside him, slowly crusting over with complacency the low burning desire to progress beyond his current spiritual state. while he in no time during the process visually appears to struggle, it is the mere act of creation that is the struggle itself. as the film progresses and the ship nears completion, we see no change in him.

the interesting element of this piece will be to see how the artist progresses mentally/spiritually/physically through the building of the ship. and finally upon completing it, will he in fact have changed?"

today is a glorious day

it has been far to long since my last post. its true. years.
so here i am. blogging. what to say?

lets try this:

im working on a new project. i dont know why i just am. perhaps to better my skills at screen writing. perhaps to finally do what ive wanted for so long: shoot a video in the warehouse. what does it say? what does it mean? how do i feel? you know i cannot answer these questions. and yet it's art so i should know. but i dont. as per usual. so instead i will clunk along up the hill on my little metal track toiling away at another meaningless piece of art so that when it come to its fruition, for a brief second the clouds in my mind will part and i will be bathed in glorious mind sunshine and go, "ahhhhhhhhh, that's right. Now i remeber." before i forget.

font choice makes for good conversation

it was monday after my new
job
walkthrough.

i came home to devins where i sat
and ate
and smoked a spliff.

I hopped hopped hopped
onto my bike and straddled it while attaching my
helmet
and discussing the
aliens quadrilogy with
my
brother.

we talked mainly of the fourth...
Resurrection.
an abomination.
not even very fun to watch.
and the music...

onto my bike and toward Pov's house
to help him in bottling
home-made beer,
a rhythm wavered into my mind and before i knew it i had my surroundings
playing to an internal track.

i pulled over and called
devin
in the hopes that i could hum it to him before it left or changed...
but he was in the garden and
could not hear the phone
over the new
Radio Head album which,
was nowadays almost
always on.

instead of leaving a silly message i pushed the right button
on my phone,
the sound recording button,
and began to whistle into the mic.

afraid of drawing attention to myself
i awkwardly got back onto my bike and continued my journey to pov's,
while whistling into my phone.

a methodical and slow almost trance like tune.
set to four four i think and simply going
Up
and
Down.
after a few cycles i
began straying from the repetitious beat
in an effort to
"take the tune somewhere"
i suppose.
though i suppose i was taking the tune to pov's house
wasn't i.

it got kind of meddled so i stopped.
but i got the good part.

my hope is that as foundation
devin can then evaluate,
elaborate,
extrapolate
something
musical out of it
that,
when played during a viewing
might just induce some kind of
mediation,
concentration or
infestation of
mood,
emotion
and
or
anything that
dwells deep within.

the inexplicable.
i suppose.

twisted back and bad dreams from couch cradled lifestyle bumming burritos not much longer then on to real game

im back in the warehouse.
placed an ikea table top onto a
not ikea
table and it looks very
very
nice.
computer whats-its
and clothing strewn about make it a homely place
save for nowhere to sit.

*just got a call...ive got a job.

But soon:

*Couch from mom
*Chair from Devin
*Table from Jenna

then we'll sit long into the night wrapped in blankets with bottles of wine (red) listening to the rain and admiring the shadows cast from the street lamp outside the third
window to the
left

then, the next day, we
shall start
to get control over

out_of_control

the first post begins with the title, the first post

im not getting any internships at any fancy design firms any time soon.

but that is ok. too much responsibility. too many chains.

instead im not going to collect my payment for a freelance graphic design job i
kind of did
for someone i
kind of know.

instead im buying my first cup of coffee in weeks, if not months
with my
very
own
birthday
money.

i have no where to live. but im not homeless

i could go sand base boards at the house of the dads fiancé.

but im not going to do that either.

instead we're going to sit here and drink as much coffee as we can handle.
because we paid for it. then we're going to go bum a cigarette.
because we quit smoking.


again.